Who is in love with a stripper?

So, a male friend of mine is getting married soon and he was talking to me about his upcoming bachelor party. He and his friends are going to fly 100’s of miles away to Miami, Florida were they are going to partake of tasty wines and notorious strip clubs. As he jokingly presented the itinerary I asked him how his fiancé felt about this excursion. He first said that he really didn’t like strip clubs and was just going because he knows his boys would have fun (which is the second time I’ve heard a man say that) but then he said she is fine with it, she doesn’t understand it but she’s fine. He went on to say that she knows he won’t do anything to jeopardize their marriage and if she was insecure he wouldn’t be marrying her.

This conversation made me wonder if I would mind my fiancé having a stripper. In my “younger days” I wanted to be the “cool” girlfriend and be calm and relaxed about my boyfriend going to the strip club. But now, after some thought, I’ve decided that I would have a problem. So I asked myself why I would have a problem. I realized that it doesn’t have anything to do with insecurity. There are going to be attractive women everywhere and I’m not going to be the only person he finds attractive (as long as there isn’t anything beyond simply admiring a good-looking person) so it’s no BIG deal. What I do believe is that there is a level of respect that should be paid the other partner. Paying money to see half-naked females isn’t very respectable and I find it disrespectful to me. Most importantly my husband will be a Christian and although Christians are human and want bachelor parties too, we have the task of asking ourselves whether or not our actions will please God or at least will he be cool with it. Can you go to church the next day with no guilt or regrets? And lastly if you don’t like strippers and you know God wouldn’t approve but your friends are gun-ho on going to his place then shouldn’t there be some questions you should ask yourself? Is pleasing God or my friends more important? Would my mate be proud of my choice? Is it worth it, monetarily and spiritually?

I think many people have the misconception that going to strip clubs or watching pornography (whether together with your mate or not) doesn’t have an effect on their present of future relationships. These outside people do place a fantasy in the mind of your mate and, to some degree, raises the level of expectation or at least a new-found hope that their mate will be capable of performing the same way and it isn’t fair. I’m not a big fan of porn or strippers and if someone wants to enter into a life with me they need to be the same. Now that doesn’t mean I want him to disregard either if he is attached to them because I am not in the business of changing people. We just simply couldn’t be together.