As friends, family and acquaintances get engaged and married left and right I wonder if the right person came into my life would I be ready? I’ll be 25 soon which is of the “marring age” and if you asked me 1 ½ ago did I want to be married I would have told you “yes ASAP!” and I think that was more so for stability, fear of dating and getting caught up, being weak and not pleasing God. But if you ask me today I have no desire to get married before its time. And how will I know its time? When I feel and know myself inside and out and when God presents him to me. When I don’t second guess my feelings, thoughts, and actions in fear of a possible negative reaction. When I complete the age-old adage of having the capability and strength to change what I can, be strong and understand the things I can’t, and have the wisdom to know the difference. When I am completely set in the foundation of me as a daughter, a sister, a grand-daughter, a mother, a Christian, and a whole person. When I have a since of stability and peace with every move I make throughout this journey called life.
A friend of mine who was recently married said that marriage is about completely living for the other person and making them happy. It sounds nice especially when the effort is reciprocated but what about the things that made you, you before he/she came along? What about weekend trips with your friends or just hanging out with the girls? For example, a group of girls were going out of town for the weekend. It was actually her idea and she volunteered her car. So the day before she backs out because her husband wanted her to stay and those were going to ride with her simply could no longer go. Is that not selfish? And rude might I add. That just seems way too caught up in the other person. If going on that trip was going to make her happy (since we are suppose to be living for the other person) then why couldn’t he wait until she got back? They ARE married and it is just TWO days away from home. I know I don’t want that. I want a man who is happy when I’m happy being the “me” I was before we said “I do” and vice versa. I want to surprise him with super bowl tickets and a weekend in the city with his boys. If he is someone I’m going to marry I’m going to completely trust him (not because I have to but because I expect it to come natural and if it doesn’t he isn’t for me) and I want him to still maintain a sense of who he is. There should be no “completing” going on but instead two whole people sharing a life with a some compromises to make the merging of two lives work but not at the risk of sacrificing identities and a sense of self.
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