Yesterday an older cousin of mine came to my house to visit because he was in town visiting his girlfriend. Mind you, he is married with four kids and the “girlfriend” is also married with two. He is in the military and was deployed to Hawaii and has been there for the past few years… that is where he met and lived with the girlfriend. He only had two weeks of leave and planned them around the girlfriend. Not to see his kids or his mother. After he found out how close his mother was to the city he was visiting, he decided to go visit his mother but was going to bring the girlfriend along too. His mother, my aunt is very upset about this and he can’t quite see why.
As an outsider this I what I see. Ten years ago he brought his girlfriend (now wife) to his mother asking for the acceptance of her and to bring her in her life as a daughter. Since my aunt only has one child and has always wanted more she gladly welcomed her in and they have become very close. In addition my aunt has been betrayed my men all of her life from her father up until the last man she has dated. So now her one and only son has not only asked her forget about his wife and now accept this girlfriend, but he has also become the type of man she despises.
Now I’m not a fan of being married just to be married, staying married for the kids, or getting married because you are pregnant. But I DON’T believe in leaving a marriage and a family on a whelm either. After both parties have tried everything then and ONLY then do they get a free pass to play in someone else’s bed.
But something else he has to realize is that he has four kids. Men everywhere need to realize that they have an important place in their children’s lives. For girls, their father will be/should be the first man they will ever love and the first man who is able to show them how love (not lust not sex) is suppose to feel and they should expect nothing less. Boys learn from their fathers what a man is supposed to be. The fathers set THE standard. I don’t think my cousin has thought about the standard he is setting.
About Me
- Mel
- It's my goal know myself in and out without question. To establish a firm foundation of self without crack or contour so that I may become the mother, daughter, sister, student, mentee, mentor and Christian that I am destined to be. And, at times, that means, removing people (with or without a declaration of doing so), limiting access to new people, and re-inviting people that maynot have be given a second look
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