So I'm a having a bunch of baby-daddy drama. I got involved with my son's father due to poor judgment and I am paying for it now. We weren't in a relationship just "kicking it" and mistakes well unintended circumstances occurred. I became pregnant. I don't like to say "mistake" because that implies that if I had a chance to rewind time I would change that "mistake" and that's not the case for me.
Well my son's father is a special case. He is almost 10 years older than me and acts 10 years younger. I understand that having a child is a life changing experience on SOO many levels. And I understand that people cope with that change differently, but it is NOT solely my fault that we were presented with this situation. He has treated me so horribly during this situation, taking his anger out on me that I just want him out of our lives. He threatened to terminated his parental rights thinking that would upset me, when actually that would make me ecstatic! And I would let him take that measly $100-something dollars a month along with him. I would terminate the child support if that meant I would no longer have to deal with this jerk.
A part of me saying I shouldn't call him a jerk simply because he lacks maturity and coping skills. But then again, that doesn't give him license to treat me the way he has and said the things he has. I could go through the examples but I don't feel like re-hashing and plus it could take all day. The newest "thing" is that he wants to change MY son's last name from Crum to Young and is willing to take me to court over it. I guess since he just graduating from law school and everything he wants make this his first case. He gave me a story about how my son will grow up being picked on if he has my last name because that means his parents weren't together and it implies that his father isn't in his life blah blah blah, and how when he goes to pick him up from daycare there could be confusion if he is the parent or not blah blah blah... Well I did a little survey and out of the guys I talked to with their mother's name ZERO got picked on and thought is was ludicrous to think so. He has also picked my son up from day care and there was not a problem. And he was never picked on. He got all of that story from a name change case that happened here in Ohio. I read the case myself.
But since he rarely follows through with anything he says we shall see if he puts this motion in to play. I'm not worried whatever is to happen will happen. I gave him the opportunity to claim my son a long time ago. And he still has that opportunity. I have never denied him access to him. I asked him if he wanted to be a part of his life and if he choose to be, then he can have his last name. He said he didn't want anything to do with him so I gave my son MY father's last name. The name of the family who loves him and has loved him before they ever saw him... and some still haven't been able to see him and they still love him.
He has spoken so much death in his son's life and has tried to get his way through lying and manipulation that whatever he does WILL come back to haunt him in one form or another. Whether when he does want to have a another child with someone, then that child won't live or if he/she does they will hate him. Or my son will abhor the very ground he walks on... his one and only son. And that won't be because of me that will be because of Karma. And if you don't think you don't reap what you sow.. try it. Plant seeds of unforgivingness, hatred, vindictiveness, deceitfulness, anger, and manipulation and see what come back at you. It's a spiritual principle whether you are religious or not. We will see what happens, but I want my son's name to say Crum because as indecisive as his father is, who knows if he will remain in his life. And I don't want my son to remember the fact that his father chose not be around and not to be in his life, every time he writes his name.
About Me
- Mel
- It's my goal know myself in and out without question. To establish a firm foundation of self without crack or contour so that I may become the mother, daughter, sister, student, mentee, mentor and Christian that I am destined to be. And, at times, that means, removing people (with or without a declaration of doing so), limiting access to new people, and re-inviting people that maynot have be given a second look
3 comments:
Wow. I hate hearing about this.
I have been a single mom for 6 years..and my sons father only wants to come around when its convenient for him. It's sad to hear how a father can want nothing to do with his child. Heartbreaking. Best of luck to you with this situation.
That is sad if it really is the way it is. Rrom a male's point of view... Unfortunately from this post and numerous others you have shown yourself to be extremely immature, money hungry, and self-centered. You have a role to play in all of this. You say that you were "just kicking it with" your child's father, you are in grad school, and he was in law school. Sounds to me like you tried to use the pregnancy hustle and it backfired on you. Everything you talk about somehow goes back to money. You thought you would be getting more money and living pleasant off of your conniving actions and it seems that it hasn't worked out that way for you. What idiot would get pregnant by someone that they are "just kicking it with" at the beginning of their grad school? Sounds to me like he never really like you and was only fvcking you. Seems like you were just an opportunistic dummy whose plan didn't work and now you are crying about it. I bet you are doing other things besides trying to smear his name in your community. He will have to account to his child not to you. Everytime you try and do something against him life will bless him, because you have unpure selfish motives for your actions. You need to grow up and stop crying and blaming others...
Wow this is interesting. I must say you sound ALOT like my son's father and he said the EXACT same things. I wonder if you are him. Hmmm??? Well lets say you aren't and I say this Mr. Anonymous:
1) We were just kicking it and we WERE just (in your words) f*cking each other. Poor decision making on my part but I accept responsibility, but I got a wonderful son out of all of this.
2) Its real interesting that I would be trying to "hustle" a man for money when (as you said) I'm in grad school too. Coming out with my terminal degree I would make more money than him some thats not a good point. And FYI he was in Law school but wasn't the brightest student. He is in a HUGE amount of debt, (I came to school free of charge) has only worked in a firm ONCE and had NO law firm offers out of law school. I have plenty of friends who are lawyers and in law school and the progression for MOST SMART law students is that they get an offer, from the firm they have been working for throughtout law school,get the offer before they graduate and easily slide into the work force. Again he didn't get that offer thus he worked at the state office making little money.
3) Me getting pregnant wasn't some "plan" to hold on to this man. This could have been HIS plan. He never put on a condom or ask for one. And never asked if I was on birth control. He is in his mid-30's. He killed his first child (abortion) and now had a chance to have another one. So sound like he's the idiot. He he was so concerned about being tied up with soem girl he was just (as you say) f*cking, then he should have been a little smarter. And does it matter that it was my first year in grad school? Would it had been better if it was a year later? Plus how did you know it waas my first year... I dont think i said it in my post but I could have over-looked that (you sound a little like you know who. hmmmm???)
4) Oh yeah and when did I say I was in dire need of money? Since everything seems to be about money tell me what are these things? Little does he know since I technically live below the poverty level (the government doesn't count scholarship as income) I could sue him for twice as much or more in child support (something he could have avoided with a condom..but I'm the idiot) but i choose not to because he isn't worth my time.
Which is another reason why I have no time to smear his name all over the community as you say. If he name is smearewd its because he told people his baby was dead when he wasn't. Its because they know the situation and deduced their own conclusion. I dont use his name not even on this site so thats his (your ) paranoia.
All in all I love and adore my son. The person you say he must answer to but rarely even wants to babysit (i guess to get back at me or something for not telling HIM to put on a condom to protect him for intellectual gold-diggers such as myself.) He si the best that has happened to me and I have learned so much, while is sits and wallows in whatever circumstance. If he gets blassed GREAT, I know I am. I dont want to "account" to me. His absence (when he lived down the road from he and my son) says enough and says plenty to my son ( i guess I should say our). Our son doesn't know him and if he choose continues to stay out of his life it will be that way. I hope Mr. Anonymous that you get over your anger.
God Bless!!!
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