Who Needs a Dad?!

For the past year plus I have done my best to create a good parental atmosphere for L******* without success. My last straw was going to be setting up counseling for my son's father and I but I'm done. This mission needs a joint effort and I won't pull the weight alone. I wash my hands of it. Here is the email I sent to him:



D**** I’ve tried. I’ve tried to prevent my biggest fear but I can’t. I didn’t want L******* to grow up feeling unwanted or low self-esteem because his father isn’t consistently there but I’ve realized I can’t. I can't sit and hope that you will "come around". The mediator/counselor was just another way I was trying to get this parental journey on the right track but I can’t do it alone. The way you spoke to me on the phone was the last straw. I’ve held my tongue in hopes of making this a better situation but it doesn’t work. You seem to be mad at something. Me for not killing L*******, yourself for not being the father you envisioned, or just life for not going your way. I have realized you are more of a poison than an anecdote and the way you are not making L******* a priority and the way you are treating me is no longer tolerable. But guess this was inevitable since this has always been "my thing" (in your words) .L******* deserves people who love him and he has that, a great and blessed mother and family. You and your family can’t provide that. If following money, studying for the bar, and fixing a headlight (and might I add my headlight that has been out for months and recently got fixed) continue to come before your son then your activity in his life isn’t worth fighting for. I sincerely, with all of my heart, implore you to follow your monetary dreams and make a family at a time you prefer. A child deserves all of both of their parents’ effort, dedication, and sacrificial love which is something you are incapable of doing. L******* will be happy and will have a great life, I speak it into existence in Jesus name. I love my son with all of my being. It’s a shame that after killing other of your children, speaking death into L*******’s life (lying about a miscarriage), then finally seeing how wonderful a baby he is you still lack the guilt of not being the best parent you can be. Or maybe you are. And if you are, my baby deserves better than what you are offering. I love him too much to spend another ounce of effort on you. And that effort means not maintaining or submitting to “email wars” because you have nothing but evil words to say. And as I do my best to be the best mother I can be I choose to speak life and not death as you do. Maybe one day you will see the birth of your son as a life lesson to learn from and grow from, rather than your "favorite mistake". Which is a horrific title. Mistake implies that if you had the power to change things you would, and as long as you think that, there is no way you can be anything close to a decent father.



May God help you through your issues as He have help me through mine.

Mel